Disconnector Online

Ten days ago it was the end of the 2006/07 parliamentary session, an event graced with an avalanche of written Commons questions and answers desperate to make the deadline.

Some of the nation’s generators are, it seems, involved in a new dash for gas. This time around, though, the exercise may be more of a stroll. The great man hears that lead times on major components have doubled or trebled in recent months. Even worse, the price of gas turbines has rocketed 50 per cent this year. Disconnector hopes those companies planning a new wave of combined cycle gas turbine plants had already optioned key kit when they submitted their Section 36 consent applications.

The great man is pleased to pay tribute to that colossus of the sector, the quiet, self-effacing Nick Goodall, no longer chief executive of the Electricity Networks Association.

What is one to make of The Guardian’s apocalyptic warning last week of “rising fear of energy crisis this winter”?

Time was when Shell’s adverts were classy, beautifully designed and eye catching. Sad to relate, this is no longer the case. A recent example of the energy company’s work has fallen foul of the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).

Good to hear that water watchdog Alan Sutherland has organised a “Competition Awayday” for his staff at the Water Industry Commission for Scotland. A party of nearly 25 travelled south of the border to a luxury hotel and spa near Bournemouth. They were regaled with the expertise of competition guru Dr Eileen Marshall (ex Offer), Albion Water’s Jerry Bryan and top legal brain Tom Sharpe QC. Scottish punters, who will pick up the tab, will no doubt be reassured that the menu included Scottish beef and Loch Duart salmon.

The British Environment and Media Awards were the scene of controversy this week when anarchic campaign group Surfers Against Sewage (or SAS, geddit?) used the glitzy ceremoney to mount a guerrilla protest against Northumbrian Water.
Northumbrian is a long time sponsor of the BEMAs, which recognise journalists and other "meeja" types who campaign or otherwise give the oxygen of publicity to environmental issues.
Northumbrian staff at the bash were however shocked to have a "golden loobrush" award thrust at them by two short-wearing surf dudes who were on stage to collect a gong for Best Website.

So, it seems another Labour Party notable is poised to take the nuclear shilling...

The effects of climate change are many and varied. One of the less obvious dangers that electricity network operators are now coming to terms with is an increase in the numbers and range of woodpeckers.

The DNOs should think themselves lucky they don’t have to deal with pissed pachyderms.
According to a news story from India, no fewer than six wild Asiatic elephants were electrocuted recently after going berserk drinking rice beer and then colliding with electricity distribution poles.

Should Ofgem chief executive Alistair Buchanan give up the day job? Is he considering a new career as a stand-up comedian? Disconnector has gone all rhetorical after discovering that the energy watchdog tried his hand as a mirth-meister when he spoke at last week’s World Energy Congress in Rome at a “do” held in the French Embassy in the
eternal city.

Here’s yet another sorry story of nuclear indecision and delay. Disconnector has enjoyed recent exchanges in the House of Lords where peers have been underwhelmed by the government’s progress (or lack of it) in appointing a new chair for the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority (NDA).

Much jubilation in the Perth headquarters of Scottish and Southern Energy (SSE) after the company finally clinched the deal by which it acquired Slough Heat and Power, owner of a bespoke power station that purveys heat and electricity to some of the great and the good thereabouts, including a major Mars facility.

Is the government having second thoughts about appointing Ed Mayo, currently chief executive of the National Consumer Council (NCC), to the same post in its successor organisation?

Ofgem is clearly miffed that the Sustainable Development Commission has dared to suggest the watchdog might not be wholly up to the job of ensuring the UK moves effortlessly and seamlessly to a low carbon future. Back in September, the government’s green adviser published a report, wittily titled Lost in Transmission, which argued that the energy regulator needed to rethink its priorities and approach to the energy and environmental agenda. From deep inside the regulator’s Millbank bunker comes sounds of spluttering and weeping. The reason? The commission used the wrong sort of wires on the cover of the report.

Targets. Don’t you just love ’em! The great man was surprised by Welsh Water’s pledge to its customers of a zero tolerance approach to pollution and service failure, and even higher quality standards “for drinking water, customer service and the protection of the environment”.

Thames Water watched this week’s episode of the BBC TV spy thriller Spooks with more than academic interest.

Congratulations to the Power Trading Forum for moving the venue of its annual dinner from London's Guildhall to Manion House at a few hours notice - after EDF Energy cut through the underground cables supplying power to the Guildhall. With 350 guests due to sit down to dinner at 7.30pm, the Forum was forced to make the decision to switch locations at 3pm when it became clear power could not be restored. As luck would have it, Mansion House was available and a magnificent effort by the organisers saw the whole event successfully relocated from the fantastic Guildhall to only slightly less sumptious surroundings of the London Mayor's residence. Well done to all concerned.

A cautionary tale of our times. The tabling this week of a Commons Early Day Motion supporting the Look Smart campaign in favour of smart energy metering should have been accompanied by a publicity stunt.

Fighting customer debt is not always a straightforward issue. Consider the following, which a colleague of the great man swears is gospel.

An outbreak of cryptosporidiosis rarely has a silver lining. Handle it badly and, like Welsh Water, you can end up with a swingeing fine courtesy of an unamused Drinking Water Inspectorate and the local beak. And for some punters crypto is, quite literally, a death sentence. However, for others the experience is not all bad, apparently. In evidence to the DWI over the Welsh outbreak, one infected customer revealed she had gone down from a size 10-12 to a size 6. And two years on, that original weight has not been put back. The great man can see the Daily Mail headline: “Miracle slimming aid discovered…”