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Lose weight: FAST

An outbreak of cryptosporidiosis rarely has a silver lining. Handle it badly and, like Welsh Water, you can end up with a swingeing fine courtesy of an unamused Drinking Water Inspectorate and the local beak. And for some punters crypto is, quite literally, a death sentence. However, for others the experience is not all bad, apparently. In evidence to the DWI over the Welsh outbreak, one infected customer revealed she had gone down from a size 10-12 to a size 6. And two years on, that original weight has not been put back. The great man can see the Daily Mail headline: “Miracle slimming aid discovered…”

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