Disconnector Online

Utilities hoping against hope that the government’s proposals to shake-up the planning regime will bear fruit might be forced to chuckle at the following. On the day the government published its Planning Reform Bill (27 November), Friends of the Earth issued a press release.

Good to see the Conservatives are staunchly behind the aims of this magazine’s Look Smart campaign to persuade energy minister Malcolm Wicks of the merits of smart metering over dumb electricity displays.

Our esteemed betters (aka the government of the day) have commissioned the University of Aberdeen to see whether radar might be a way of preventing bat collisions with wind turbines. It can’t be long before the University of Luton (or some such) is asked to investigate ways of making sure whirling turbine blades do not pose a risk to UFOs, witches or Quidditch- playing chums of Harry Potter!

Here’s a spot of seasonal advice from the great man. Flummoxed by Xmas present buying? Fear not, help is at hand.

Last week’s Ofgem send-off for departing networks managing director David Gray was suitably festive with carols and mince pies. And the great man (Gray, not Disconnector) got to switch on the lights on the Christmas tree in the atrium. All fine and dandy.
Mind you, the life-long Mackem was a bit miffed to discover that the lights were a tasteful white and not, as he had apparently been promised, coloured like Sunderland’s red and white strip. Altogether: ahhhhh.

The government’s long-awaited water strategy is due some time in the new year. Disconnector can exclusively reveal one policy it won’t contain. Speaking at a meeting of the Parliamentary All-Party Water Group last week, environment minister Phil Woolas was chuntering on about the government’s housing drive when he noted that “single elderly people use a lot of water”. But he quickly pointed out, rather helpfully, it must be said, that “euthanasia was not an option”. What a card!

And now a cautionary tale from sunny Spain. One Antonio Bandin Moreno collected his post before he left for work but left it unopened. In the pile of mail was a bill from Gas Natural.

A water company isn’t just for Christmas, it’s for life. An odd sentiment you may think, but that’s the message for Scottish and Southern Energy chief Ian Marchant this year. Apparently, Marchant has finally relented to his son’s pleas for a dog and is getting the youngster a puppy for Christmas. Marchant senior will, however, not be so easily satisfied – his Christmas list includes a water company.
With only four left on the shelf in England, will SSE look closer to home and try to persuade the Scottish Government to let it buy a stake in the publicly owned water company?

London’s swankiest venue the Grosvenor House Hotel was packed to the rafters again this week as the great and the good (plus some of the actual workers) of the UK utilities industry put on their glad rags for the biggest night of their year – the Utility Industry Achievement Awards. A full list of runners and winners can be found at www.utility-awards.co.uk but almost as important for many were the eating, drinking, gambling and general cavorting that went on well into the wee small hours.

Taking an African safari theme, the entertainment included the authentic sounds of the Ambutho Choir and the lively Nzinga dance troupe, which segued seamlessly into the Mancunian musing of standup comedian Jason Manford. Jason got a bit more than he bargained for when handing out the trophies, as Scottish and Southern Energy’s Denis Kerby took the opportunity while up on stage to try and switch him to one of SSE’s top value energy deals. As Denis put it “even if we have 8 million customers, 8 million and 1 is even better.” Quite.

Capital Project Management Award - Scottish Water

Training Award - Yorkshire Water

IT Initiative of the Year - Northern Gas Networks

Marketing Initiative of the Year - Npower

Team of the Year - Southern Water

Customer Care Award - Wessex Water

Community Initiative of the year - Southern Water

Supply Chain Excellence Award - Severn Trent Water

Environment Award - Northern Ireland Water

Utility Company of the Year - Scottish and Southern Energy