Disconnector Online

The merger of South East Water with neighbouring Mid Kent Water is beginning to look more like a complete takeover. With regulated turnover of £112 million South East is of course three times the size of Mid Kent and it makes sense to amalgamate staff at South East’s Haywards Heath head office rather than find a neutral venue to base the enlarged company.

It’s always nice when the general public appreciate your work, and so it is gratifying to learn that Southern Water’s public tours of its fine Victorian sewer system are often full and even over-subscribed. Utility Week editor Steve Hobson (pictured emerging blinking mole-like into the daylight) recently joined a special “VIP” tour, where he was surprised to discover more than half the guests were female. Not something we would normally expect to appeal to the fairer sex, sewers.

Utility Week escaped the effects of the floods that have caused so much disruption to lives and business this week.

The only problem at UW Towers was a warning from the building management department that the water was not fit to drink. The reason: the water was "contaminated by local authorities" according to warning signs on all the taps, raising fears in the office of an outbreak of the deadly "bureaucracy" virus.

No worries about an epidemic of local democracy, of course. Utility Week, like most magazines, is an occasionally-benign dictatorship.

Guess who has the poorest drinking water quality in the UK, or at least as perceived by a cross-section of punters contacted by pollsters?

Well, the capital came bottom, while Scotland came top in terms of the drinkability (is that a word?) of its tap water. Londoners, it seems, are underwhelmed by the quality of their potable supplies, with only 12 per cent giving the wet stuff a top rating. North of the border, customer satisfaction levels are a staggering 72 per cent.

Should that come as a great surprise? Disconnector thinks not. For many moons now, the Scots have drunk their national tipple (Scotch) with a dash of water, and you wouldn’t want to spoil the taste of your malt, would you?

Now, the Drinking Water Inspectorate has made something of a song and dance about the fact that on blind taste tests, consumers cannot distinguish chilled tap water from bottled.

And there’s little doubt that people are getting a tad sceptical about the claims of the bottled water manufacturers – and the cost of the stuff. Apparently, two-thirds of those contacted in a survey by Shape the Future felt that bottled water was just a way of making people spend more money.

Perish the thought.

Heart-warming news that the mighty Tesco is doing its bit for the flood-stricken regions of England, where some 140,000 homes have only just had mains water restored. The water will of course not be fit to drink for some time and Tesco is mobilising its distribution network to keep residents, Severn Trent Water workers and the armed forces supplied with bottled water.
The irony of a water company being forced to rely on bottled water isn't lost on Disconnector - for many years, the water industry has promoted the benefits of drinking tap water over its bottled rival.
The fact it is Tesco riding to the rescue is a double irony - the grocery giant has been bending the ear of environment ministers to get competition moving in the water industry, something the incumbent companies remain less than enthusiastic about.

Takeovers of water companies often lead to a shake up of senior management - just ask former Thames Water chief executive Jeremy Pelczer, who was replaced just over a year into his tenure following the successful bid by Macquarie Bank-led consortium Kemble Water. It appeared to be a similar story at Sutton and East Surrey, where Nick Fisher was elevated from finance director to replace managing director Phil Holder after Deutsche Bank acquired the WOC last year. Happily we can report that Holder was in fact moved upstairs to work for the German bank on future acquisition targets - rather like Pelczer's successor at Thames, David Owens, who was put in to run Thames after devising the business plan for his then employer Macquarie. So the great man (Disconnector, not Owens) wouldn't be surprised to see Holder pop up in charge of Deutsche's next takeover target, whatever that may be. Would Holder fancy a move to Birmingham or Bradford maybe?

A colleague was invited along with the great and good in the water industry to the official naming of Thames Water's two marvellous new "skimmer" vessels last night. As an ex-sailor, he was intrigued to see if the Heath Robinson devices rigged up by Thames water engineers to break the bubbly over the bows actually worked, as it is considered bad luck if the bottle doesn't smash first go. Their efforts weren't helped by the fact that the bottles had to be wrapped in cling film to prevent broken glass "polluting" the river.

Even though water companies are always hoping to promote the sustainable use of water, Disconnector observes that many have scaled back their messages this year, perhaps feeling that this year's wet - very wet - and generally gloomy summer has not been the most receptive environment.
However, Disconnector hears whispers of some draconian measures imposed by their Australian and American counterparts that UK companies might like to take a look at, in case we are back in a drought situation next year.

Even though water companies are always hoping to promote the sustainable use of water, Disconnector observes that many have scaled back their messages this year, perhaps feeling that this year's wet - very wet - and generally gloomy summer has not been the most receptive environment.
However, Disconnector hears whispers of some draconian measures imposed by their Australian and American counterparts that UK companies might like to take a look at, in case we are back in a drought situation next year.

The British Environment and Media Awards were the scene of controversy this week when anarchic campaign group Surfers Against Sewage (or SAS, geddit?) used the glitzy ceremoney to mount a guerrilla protest against Northumbrian Water.
Northumbrian is a long time sponsor of the BEMAs, which recognise journalists and other "meeja" types who campaign or otherwise give the oxygen of publicity to environmental issues.
Northumbrian staff at the bash were however shocked to have a "golden loobrush" award thrust at them by two short-wearing surf dudes who were on stage to collect a gong for Best Website.

Thames Water has had its fair share of opprobrium heaped on its head over leakage from its mains, but last night’s BBC TV’s Watchdog also put the boot in over a customer pipe leak. The story focused on ex-BBC TV Blue Peter presenter Matt Baker and his missus bleating on about an £8,224.16 bill they had received from Thames Water, due to him forgetting to send back some pesky form. Nevertheless, Watchdog inquisitor general “Saint” Nicky Campbell still managed to find time to bang on yet again about how unbelievable it was that Thames managed to lose the equivalent of 8 million Olympic swimming pools a day (or something) from its network.

Congratulations are in order to Thames Water for laying on a magnificent fund-raising event last Friday in support of WaterAid. The “Love Water” Ball (twas the day after Valentines Day after all) in the opulent surroundings of the Hurlingham Club saw 500 of the great and good in water, wined, dined and entertained by top comics Bob Mills and Lenny Henry. The whole event raised an amazing £200,000 for the industry’s favourite charity, with the auction alone raising over £17,000 (the mystery prize turned out to be a £3,000 child’s rocking horse selected personally by Thames chief exec David Owens). Thames has supported WaterAid since it was formed 27 years ago, and the revival of its WaterAid Ball after a five-year absence from the calendar is a sign that confidence is returning to Britain’s biggest water company after a spell under the cosh.

The arrival of the competitive water market in Scotland on 1 April has coincided with yet another debate among Members of the Scottish Parliament over whether Scottish Water should remain in public ownership, be made a mutual company owned by customers (often compared with Welsh Water, though its parent Glas Cymru is of course not a true mutual but a Company Limited by Guarantee) or be privatised like the English water undertakers. The debate was triggered by the Scottish Conservatives, spearheaded by shadow cabinet member Mary Scanlon MSP, more as a means of embarrassing Alex Salmond’s ruling Scottish National Party and Labour than a realistic attempt to force a sell-off. .